Sometimes it takes such a simple thing as a picture to remind you of the more important things in life.
Important things that make you happy.
For me, that simple thing was a Volvo Ocean Race poster. There were so many nice things to look at in the Volvo cars showroom where I was at while I was signing some documents (ironically, for a Nissan) during that September of 2007, but seeing that poster was timely and it reminded me of a longing I had as a child.
I had always wanted to sail but was always told that only the really wealthy get to own sailboats and sail on them.
This was of course a misguided opinion and the absolute worst idea you can inject into a child’s head. But that was my previous life, and that was part of my growing-up.
I remember that the poster had a picture of the Team Puma Ocean Racing boat in some rough weather. It was one of the most awesome things I’ve ever seen. It woke up something sleeping in me, and whatever that was that woke up, it set every part of me tingling and made me feel very much alive.
I remember talking to my girlfriend (who would later on become my wife) about it. I remember spending hours on YouTube just watching current and old videos of the Volvo Ocean Race. I had very good headphones, and I relished the sound of the roaring waves in those videos.
Even after watching the vids, there was that constant but dull sound of waves in my ears (probably because I set the volume up too loud?). Call me foolish, but the sound of those waves were always with me. It felt like it was coming from inside me and I was hearing it in my ears.
I tried everything to satisfy the “pull” I got from that almost constant sound (I knew I was nuts, and thought I might have gone over the edge). I went back to sports, surfing, open water swimming, even triathlon — which made me happy but never felt “enough.”
I realized that there was not a day that went by where I did not daydream about being a crew member of a Volvo Ocean Race team. I had to do something about it.
My wife probably realized it sooner than I did. That I had to gradually stop what I was doing and slowly transition to doing something that was at the core of the kind of person I was.
“You aren’t cut-out for life in the office. You need to be outdoors” was what she said. Even before I tried to explain to her why I needed to take-up competitive sailing.
I was almost in tears. She had come to the realization first, and helped me make that big step on the long road back to what I was.
The first time I sailed by myself (when my coach left me to my own devices) I realized that the roaring in my ears wasn’t the ocean. It was the pounding of my heart. It was pounding for joy, excitement, and awe.
My heart races every time I step onto a boat, whether to race, deliver, or cruise. My blood goes hot and I cannot stop smiling.
It has been a long road back to the love of my childhood, but I am right where I know I should be. Where God wants me to be.
The roaring is in my heart, and it sounds like the ocean.
